Month: April 2016

As a rare feeler of uneasy emotions, I try to absorb it up when I can. I try to feel my feelings to the fullest extent, soaking in each drop before they slip away.

It’s bitter because I kick myself when I’m down. I wallow in my temporary sadness, letting it sink in deep and make my bones heavy. Feeling for a short time, a darker filter on my own life and the world around me.

It’s sweet because it’s a revelation in my own mind that I don’t have to live with- simply just experience it as it passes. I felt that, and now I understand. It’s sweet because it’s easier to write when you ache. It’s easier to create a spectrum of visual thoughts when you feel like you might never see the sun again.

So, I eagerly take the bad with the good. The teaspoon of sadness with the loving warmth of sunshine.

If it weren’t for sour, I’d never know sweet.

Rejection leaves you wondering which parts of you are insufficient.

You can play back every joke, every story, every extra effort you ever made just to hear his laugh one more time.  Which parts of my affection weren’t appealing?

It’s been a while since I’ve felt anything, so I guess it feels like the first time all over again.
Maybe I’m whining a little more than I should be for someone who doesn’t even believe in monogamy anyway.

They say life is about perspective. We’re all looking at the same picture, just from a different angle. The same goal seen a million different ways.

I guess it’s the first time I’m seeing the playing field from this corner…
And this game sort of sucks.