GOTCHA GIRL IN THE CUT AN SHE CHOOSEY
Being unemployed has opened my eyes to the gravity of the vexation that piggybacked my every thought and action since I was 15. The loathing of not having enough time in the day, in the week, in the month, my god is it New Years already? Where has the time gone. I’ve quit jobs before- don’t fucking get me wrong. This time it’s opened my eyes to the possibilities of staying financially afloat sans time punch cards, PTO balances, and/or sacrifices of my personal life. “Personal life” isn’t that the only version you really owe yourself anyway? What a time to be alive where I can upload, share and distribute crafts, services or any other item for that matter. Be your own boss, create your own income, live in your own world.
Anyways; Tuesday morning my cousin called me around 8:30am explaining that her tire blew out on the freeway. She’s such a cute little blonde, I for sure thought this was a rescue call. “No, no, just talk to me while I wait for the tire shop,” she said. “How’s your morning going?” Well I’m awake now you crazy lady, and text me the address, I’ll be there soon.
So we turned it into a day-date. She took the rest of the day off work and we stopped for breakfast and beer. And apartment tours and beer, and beer, and beer. Irish Pubs, dive bars, cafe happy hours, liquor stores. We made friends with a married guy who bought us a round, and gave his email address out in the name of real estate. I got pretty wasted in the sunshine, using my current emotional turmoil as a cheap excuse. I remember little from the very last bar we went to- a cash only dive bar where I introduced myself as a different name. I sent text messages to two old hook ups, and got very different responses: “Yo what up!” and “Who?”
I convinced one of them to drive to downtown to see me- and when he finally got there, I had already left. Then I acted like a total drunk twat and blew him off for the rest of the night. I apologized the next day, and he was actually pretty casj about it (thanks Javi). I passed out in my cousins bed with a taco, and left before commuter traffic the next morning- stopping only for coffee. I spent Wednesday in bed decaying inside, questioning my morality and hasty life choices. Laughing in the manner in which I handle just about any problem in life, hoooty-hoooooo!
I remember being in the car with my cousin later in the night, on the way to a boy’s apartment. Her hair blowing in the wind with her left arm out the window holding her cigarette, her right hand moving along to the country song filling the air before it escaped out the window, poking at the steering wheel only when absolutely required. “I’m so happy, you know?” She glanced over at me, dancing drunkenly in the passenger seat, “I’m just so genuinely happy every time I’m with you!”
Wild Little Hare 