Losing sleep.

I’m exhausted by thinking I’m the sole reason I don’t have a decent relationship with my father or my mother or my brother. I’m tired by wondering why they don’t seem to ever consider the way their actions could make me feel. I’m sickened by the blame my family shoves down my throat for the equal absence we’ve chosen to be in each other’s lives. I’m exhausted, and I’m tired, and I’m sickened by the relationship I’ve been trying to force with my family. I’ve been balancing between hope and realism; and I’m slipping at rapid speeds.