I wish I was Kylee.

I wish my biggest regret was not taking the time to learn to love you.
I wish my biggest regret was walking away too soon.
I wish I wondered what-if.

I wish I had treated you like shit.  I wish I had cheated on you.  I wish I had lied to you.

I wish it was you installing security cameras at every angle of your property.  I wish it was you going through 573 surveillance video clips before bed each night.  I wish it was you filling out RO after RO, and running down to the courthouse after work to make it before they close.  I wish it was you that had to explain to our friends and family that I’m drunk and willfully off my meds, unwilling to seek the proper help, and wreaking havoc on those around me whenever and however I saw fit.

I’m sick of talking about you.  I’m sick of hearing your name.  I’m sick of writing your name on restraining orders.  I’m sick of worrying that you’re going to show up at my house.  I’m sick of worrying you’re going to harm my animals.  I’m sick of being worried you’re going to put water in my gas tank, or nails in my tires.  I’m scared you’re going to try to compromise my sense safety further than you’ve carelessly destroyed it so far.

My biggest regret in life is responding to your text message in 2020.  My biggest regret is letting you know where I live.  My biggest regret is telling you my real name. My biggest regret is letting you get to know me.

You didn’t deserve to know me.  You didn’t deserve to know my friends, my family, my coworkers, or my animals.

You are my single regret.