Month: September 2025

Even you

I miss the days when “breaking news” preceded something other than just the daily drip of a devolving human race. The baseline of what’s accepted and supported in this current version of society has me wishing they’d at least bring back the lobotomies, too. (maybe they did already. maybe that’s how we got here in the first place.) It makes being grateful very, very easy. Grateful for this life I built. Grateful for a home filled with love and laughter. A partner who loves me at all my variations of sugar & spice and encourages all of my pipe dreams (!!!) Delicious food and treats always in the oven or in the fridge. A few dozen noses and beaks to remind me THIS is the whole point: Nurturing the land, and each other, and letting ourselves be nurtured in return.

I’m thankful to finally have the agency of choice, which allows me to choose a whimsy life of passion instead of purely existential necessity. I’m endlessly thankful I chose to survive the times I didn’t want to.

I used to believe that opposition was beautiful. I used to believe it meant growth; I used to believe opposition meant the opportunity to stand firmly in my beliefs. That it meant considering a perspective other than my own. I’m learning now that existence does not need to be an argument. Existence was not intended to be a struggle. Existence in society was meant to build tolerance and community of those around us.

Hard and uncomfortable conversations will only be successful with emotionally intelligent people.

While shedding light, love and acceptance onto the past versions of myself that got me here today- I often find myself wondering how, at one time, I’d become so lowly that I allowed so many shallow minded individuals into my heart and home. Oblivious, conceited, needful, helpless, individuals.

I remember hollering often that I must have done something really terrible in a past life to have to pay the penance of having a myriad of these folks around me all at once.

The pain that you’ve been feeling, can’t compare to the joy that’s coming.

I know that I never would have ran this far if the devil hadn’t been chasing me.

I wouldn’t have found this forest. I wouldn’t have found my husband. I wouldn’t have found my home, or my peace, or over half my animals. I wouldn’t have found a set of parents. I wouldn’t have found my purpose or path or career. I wouldn’t be living the life I’d always dreamed of.

It scares me to think I almost wouldn’t have known this timeline at all. It’s not hard at all to be grateful,

even for you.

Hello

“Have a good night, Micaela!” He quickly waved after dropping a brown paper bag on my desk.

A sweet gesture, just like the rest of them, left me in tears. It has amazed me my entire life how frequently I’ve been in the care of strangers instead of the folks you’d expect. I am simply a ward of the Universe. Parents? Checked out when I was 12. The man I’d spent the last 3 years loving? Probably bathing in a pool of his vodka vomit. My employer? Paying me so little, that the contractors they hired were dropping food off for me each night after I cracked a (half) joke that I’d been Dating for Dinner that week.

“Thank you, Shawn!” I called out down the hallway after him, hollering loudly in hopes of disguising the breaks in my voice.

It was 2019. I was 28. Going through what felt like a divorce with the man I’d seen as my entire family. I’d just moved to a little rural town with my 2 cats where I knew no one. This shitty job with an hour-long commute was the only thing that cared if I was dead or alive, and even then- they were about to can me.

o0o

“Good morning!” I called out to clinic staff as I set my laptop bag down. I heard Teresa speaking to someone at the front desk: “I’ll be right back,” she told him. I poked my head above the privacy wall to greet them both. He met my gaze shortly for a smile, then looked away.

Shawn.

I approached the counter: “Hey,” I said softly, “I think we used to work together.”
His eyes lit up with a smile, “Yeah, I was thinking you looked familiar! How long have you been all the way up here, Micaela?”

I was just telling Kalista last week: “It is a universal blessing to share positive updates with the people who witnessed our struggles.”

o0o

I noticed this week I’ve been rushing my commute. Rushing my appointments. Rushing through barn chores. Rushing through cooking. Rushing through baking. Rushing. Rushing. Rushing through this life I used to dream of. Rushing through the things I longed for. Cried for. Begged for. Rushing for what? I’m here, finally. I made it.

The past is such an authentic reminder of the path traveled.

Divine timing is never a mistake.